HERE COMES BALLET SHADE #5.

THIS is not going to be a post about Nijinsky’s recovered choreography of 1913. It’s going to be about the barf on the stage floor that only appears when an atrocity – an afront even – to that brilliance of Vaslav Nijinsky is left behind in a delusional horrible dance. Big shout out to some stupid dance companies.

I’ve never been able to understand how Pina Bausch could take such a pedestrian approach to the Rite of Spring after she had seen the original choreography? She is a genius or was and I can’t believe it is her behind stripping a girl down and having her dance with her tit out? First year dance student at a junior college could have done better than this but let’s move forward to something I never ever thought I would see and I think Pierre Boulez probably wishes he never did.

“Le Saddle du printemps” ok that’s not what it was called but can you believe that there was a horse scene? I mean there are horses in this ballet! Ths dude Bartabas who created it was once the third of Barnum Baily and Bartabas but the former 2 kicked him out for being too serious. So he stole their horses, hoodwinked Boulez and well well,., here we are with a well kept secret horse ballet.

OF COURSE! The Rite of Spring means nothing without a gang rape said a chain smoking french pig choreographer. Angelin Prelocaj concluded – stupidly – that it is not a gang rape if the Rite of Spring is in the background. This dude should have been arrested but it seems gang rape is legal provided Stravinsky is playing in the background. I wonder what crimes you could get away with to Edgard Varese? Fuck your disgusting ballet.

OH GAWD….Sasha waltz created the ugliest choreography I’ve ever seen. If you’re going to have a naked girl dance in The Chosen One I guess making her look like a crab from outer space might sort of take a little heat off of you? Like in your gut you know it sucks so get a weird creepy dancer to blame. Just in case. It’s gross. Too hard to look at even.

Oh Bejart this was horrendous and lazy like you were busy and called your assistant to say “make it about humping in leotards, maye some jazz hands”, hung up and went about your day. I can’t shit on you too hard, however, because of what you did with the Nutcracker? You literally made it the ball buster I always thought it was and it got you a ticket out of my blog post that nobody’s going to read anyway.

When I saw Isadora Weiss choreography I spent way too much time trying to figure out where her cake was. I mean is the woman a slave is she a complete masochist or is she a dominant sadist it’s impossible to tell so I wrote to her and asked. It was in 2023 so there’s still time I suppose for her to get back to me fingers crossed bitch .

Of course I left a message a day on the voice mail of the Governor of Alabama who doesn’t understand Christianity and they finally answered the phone and said stop calling. I replied “Yeah I have already moved on to a better headcase.”

Marie Chouinard is fucked in the head. My biggest fear is that she will team up with Jan Fabre. I have nothing more to say.

LET”S CLOSE WITH…what?

Huh? Was MacMillan a great choreographer who fucked up the Rite of Spring or was he a terrible one in a world where dancers dream of being in stupid cartoons? That a Chosen One from the Nijinsky choreography – and she was brilliant – would make this her final performance over the authentic one where she excelled…how do you describe that…OH!. STUPID! That’s the word I was looking for. Stupid.

Yours because no one else wants me,

Fatova

Yours for